An adventure is born…
Four Aussies, London to Cape Town, 16 countries, 4 months, one (t)rusty old Toyota, a bottle of Bundy and a hand held video camera. What could go wrong?
As Africa gears itself to host the first ever world cup soccer, the four of us have decided to experience the true Africa broiled up in its excitement as it builds for the start of the biggest single sporting event this world hosts.We ain’t no epic adventures, with years of savvy experience. In fact, our true inexperience is best shown by the contrast of our trip to the great Kingsley Holgate. Our direction does not lead us north, we do not travel along the waterways of Africa, we ain’t fueled by Captain Morgan but the sweet amber fluid of Bunderberg Rum, and lastly our talisman is not the calabash but rather the vuvuzela of African soccer.
It’s a recipe for disaster…
Team
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Dan was kidnapped by aliens in ’99, returning to Earth as a bee. After stinging Jimbo in the buttock on a Queensland beach, Dan was captured for further examination. Dan freed himself from his KY tub enclosure in Jimbo’s laboratory, and brushed against exotic wormhole matter. The exotic matter further manipulated Dan’s genealogy producing rapid and often traumatic physical transformations. Currently Dan has morphed into a chicken, and will be utilised as a security alarm (and emergency supplement) for the Why Not Tourians. |
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Jase began life as a 42 year old farmer. Some years later, he was born. Unfortunately for Jase, an evil twin was born at the same time. The brothers were separated at birth, but Jase always felt like there was something missing from his life. In later years, he tried everything from fortune cookie writing to collecting various types of lint, but nothing filled the void. Recently he found out about his long lost brother, who now resides in Cairo. He’s now travelling to Africa to fill the massive hole in his life. The rest of the Why Not Tourians are planning to swap him. |
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Cory is really a man trapped in a child’s body. Born in 1972 Cory’s mental and physical age match that of a 12 year old school girl. Whilst there are numerous and inexpensive medical procedures to control and/or revert Cory’s condition, we all think it’s best if Cory stays immature for life. We prefer not to publicly mention his plight, however in this case we felt it was necessary. He is travelling through Africa in the hope his condition will be recognised by the African community, who in turn will sympathise with him. Because sympathy is something he has always wanted, but is yet to receive. |
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Jimbo is the only African on the trip. As such, he will be used as currency whenever it is deemed necessary. Born in Johannesburg, he grew up in Cairo after being exiled for saying “bro” too much. Yearning for his homeland, he caught, tamed, and rode a killer whale up the Nile to Lake Victoria. From here, he trekked to the mountains of Rwanda and assimilated himself with the gorillas. During this period, he trained the gorillas to make exotic matter for his wormhole to send him back home. However, his calculations were slightly wrong due to the humidity turning a ’7′ into a ’1′ in his notes, and he ended up in Australia. Here, Jimbo befriended Dan, Cory, and Jase and devised a cunning plan to finally make it home. |
